


Triplicate

by MelyndaR



Series: Don't Fear the Fall [10]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Relationship Discussions, Telepathy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:08:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23296021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelyndaR/pseuds/MelyndaR
Summary: Triplicate: (verb) to make threefold; triple.Ensign Wildman chuckled, reaching for Naomi’s hand across the table. “Somewhere in there, that starts to sound a little complicated, but the truth is that it doesn’t have to be. If you love someone well, and they love you well in return, then you deserve to find a way to live that out.”
Relationships: Chakotay & Naomi Wildman, Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway/Seven of Nine, Harry Kim & Naomi Wildman, Icheb/Naomi Wildman/Q Junior, Icheb/Q Junior, Kathryn Janeway & Naomi Wildman, Naomi Wildman & Samantha Wildman, Q Junior & Naomi Wildman, Tom Paris/B'Elanna Torres
Series: Don't Fear the Fall [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1552054
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

Nearly two years passed. Naomi reached adulthood, edged towards the point where her growth rate would stabilize, finished usual schooling to begin cadet training, and, in the end, convinced herself that her mother really was right.

Except she hadn’t been, not exactly. Seeing Icheb and Quillen together became an only occasional dull ache instead of a near-frequent sharp stab of pain. She managed to forge an antagonistic, semi-permanently annoyed sort of friendship with Quillen, and she really did get to the point where she was happy for them that they were happy.

But her feelings for Icheb didn’t go away; she just became better at lying to herself and others about them.

Then came the evening of her ninth birthday, and Quillen… happened. It was absolutely his fault. He’d done something somehow, once again, as he always did. The whole occurrence was his fault entirely. Even the party was his fault, so why couldn’t everything else be, too?

Quillen sidled up to her at the end of their training for the day, saying as Icheb excused himself to go take a shower, “A little birdy told me today is your birthday.”

Naomi looked at him out of the corner of her eye, idly twirling her spear in her hands as she agreed, “Yeah, it is.”

“Can I accompany you to the mess hall for dinner tonight, then?”

Naomi stopped in her tracks. “’Accompany me to dinner?’ What?”

He grinned, pointing out, “Everyone else gets a birthday _party_ at this point, but since you plan the parties, you’re not getting one yourself. Is that right?”

She nodded. “I’m okay with it.”

“But it seems like _something_ should be done for you, so… let me take you to dinner? I’ll even let you use my rations, if you want.”

Naomi blinked, still feeling a little off-kilter, because he very much looked to be sincere – or as sincere as he ever was with her. “I appreciate the thought, and that you’re trying to be nice, but if this is your way of flirting with me like you do all the other crewmen _as soon_ as I’m of age, the answer’s ‘no.’ And you have a boyfriend!”

He grabbed her wrist as she spun on her heel, so she whirled back to face him rather than let him pull her off-balance. “I’m only trying to do something nice for my friend. We _are_ friends, aren’t we?” he wheedled.

“Of a sort,” she allowed.

“So, can we have dinner together? Consider the replicator rations a birthday gift from me, if you want. Itchy will be there, too, if that helps you make up your mind.”

“Why would that matter?” Quillen alone managed to get under her skin so quickly that her tone was sharp already.

“Because we both know you like him better than you do me.”

 _She refused to think that he meant more by that than what the statement was on the surface_. Naomi bit the inside of her cheek, thinking for a second before she answered, “Fine, I’ll go, but only to make you hush, and only because Icheb will be there to curb your obnoxiousness.”

He grinned. “Great! I’ll stop by your quarters at 1800 hours?”

“Or I could meet you at the mess hall?”

“Or I could walk you there,” he countered stubbornly.

Naomi sighed, her expression becoming half-annoyed, half-indulgent. “Okay, you can walk me there.”

“Thank you,” Quillen said with a grand bow from the waist as they parted ways. “I’ll see you at 1800 hours!”

* * *

 _Something of Starfleet must’ve sunk into him at some point,_ Naomi allowed when Quillen showed up at the Wildman’s quarters a few minutes before their agreed-upon time.

He shrugged when he saw her impressed expression as she made an exaggerated show of checking the clock. “I know you, and I assumed you would already be ready to go, so here I am. I didn’t want you to leave without me.”

She didn’t know what to make of that strange statement, so she said in a light and teasing mimicry of the captain, “Good work, and remarkable promptness, cadet.”

Quillen chuckled as they started for the turbolift together. “I’m still willing to give you replicator rations if you’d show her that impression.”

A comment he’d made multiple times before, and she responded as she had just as many times previously: “I will not.”

“Spoilsport,” he accused, but there was no bite in his tone, and they made their way to the mess hall still talking and bickering good-naturedly.

However, when they got there, the lights were off. _Almost unheard of for the mess hall._ Naomi gave him a look, asking, “What did you do to break something this time?”

“Why do you always assume I’m responsible for breaking things?” he asked, feigning insult. “I may be full of… shenanigans, but sometimes I’m perfectly innocent of wrongdoing.” Quillen reached around, flipping the light on.

The room flared to life, and with the light, there was a rush of movement and cries of “surprise!”

Naomi stumbled back, her eyes blown wide, and Quillen’s hand on her back helped steady her as he chuckled warmly. “You mean to tell me you didn’t see this coming?” he asked in amusement.

“No,” she admitted, reaching for her mother as Ensign Wildman came up and gave her a tight hug, wishing her a happy birthday. “Thank you, Mom.” Turning back to Quillen, she added, “But I should have, shouldn’t I?”

Quillen shrugged. “Maybe.” He gave her a look that she couldn’t decipher as he pointed out, “It depends on how well you want to think of me, I guess.”

“You organized this?” she asked in surprise. He nodded, but Icheb and the bridge crew descended upon them before he could comment further. Lieutenant Paris gave her one of his usual one-armed hugs, and she leaned into him as she glanced around the brightly decorated room. “Did you help?” she asked the lieutenant.

“I am official party-planning assistant at this point, so, yes, I helped, but it was mostly Quillen,” Lieutenant Paris informed her.

Naomi turned back to Quillen, genuinely touched that he had thought to do this for her. She hadn’t even realized before today that he knew when her birthday was. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he replied, and then opened his arms, asking wordlessly if he got a hug too, while the uncertainty in his eyes asked if the gesture was even acceptable.

Surprised at the uncharacteristic hesitation from him, Naomi smiled softly and hugged him. He was a better hugger than she had expected him to be, and even though he was still _Quillen_ , it… wasn’t bad.

Icheb put an arm around Quillen's shoulders as he looked around the room, remarking, “You did well.”


	2. Chapter 2

Icheb's very presence was a reminder that Naomi shouldn’t be entertaining opinions on Quillen's hugs one way or the other, surprising as those thoughts might’ve been, and she drew back, smiling welcomingly at Icheb.

“Don’t let the good feelings stop on my account,” Icheb requested with an amused smile. “Happy birthday, Naomi.”

“Thanks,” she replied.

The captain came up behind her, putting a hand between her shoulder blades as she asked, “Some of the crew went together to get you a birthday present, if you’d like to see it now?”

“Oh, sure,” Naomi answered, surprise still tinging her tone.

Captain Janeway turned, calling, “Doctor?”

The Doctor emerged from around the corner, coming out of what had once been Neelix’s galley with a whole cake. Naomi’s eyes lit up as the Doctor approached her, spearheading the traditional – and only slightly off-key – singing of “Happy Birthday” from all the party’s guests.

“I believe it is customary for the birthday girl to blow out the candles,” he pointed out once the song was over.

Naomi obliged, then Lieutenant Paris took the cake from the Doctor, and he and Ensign Kim began to cut and serve it. Naomi was given the first piece, and then her mom, but Naomi shook her head fondly – in too good a mood to be truly annoyed right now – when she realized that Quillen had made sure he wasn’t far behind in the line.

“Itchy, here,” Quillen held a second piece of cake out to Icheb even as he followed Naomi to some of the easy chairs in the corners of the room. “I have something for you,” he said quietly, far nearer to her ear than she was ever used to him being. So much so that she almost started when she realized his proximity.

“Oh?” she asked, recovering quickly.

He smiled and nodded, sitting down across from her and leaning across the coffee table between them. “M-hm.” There was a secretive look on his face as he reached into a pocket of his jacket and pulled out… a feather.

It was a dingy white, and a little mussed from being in his pocket, but he slid it between his thumb and pointer finger, righting it before he handed it to her. “It’s from a sort of dove,” he explained as she accepted it with a poorly disguised look of confusion. “From that planet we stopped at last week. It just… made me think of you.”

“Why did this make you think of me?” she asked, carefully keeping her tone light even as worry niggled at the back of her mind.

Quillen’s smile was mostly it’s usual know-it-all expression, but she saw sadness flickering at the edges of it as he pointed out, “Sometimes I feel like everyone forgets what I used to be able to do.”

“That’s not necessarily a bad thing,” Naomi teased gently. “You frequently did some _really_ annoying things whenever you visited as Junior.”

“I resent that!”

“Are you trying to distract me?” she asked suddenly.

“What?” Apparently, he’d gotten momentarily distracted too.

She held up the present he’d given her. “The dove feather?”

“Oh, yeah!” He brightened, then just as quickly sobered. “My point in mentioning being a Q is that I used to be able to travel through time in the blink of an eye. The snap of my fingers, you know.” He demonstrated the old gesture, but nothing happened. “So, once upon a time – no pun intended – I travelled through time and, with the help of a couple fancy Q tricks, I saw you talking to a dove.”

_Sitala? Her animal guide? It had to be, but how?_

He must’ve seen her questions on her face, because Quillen said, “It’s really difficult to explain to someone who’s always been mortal. Sorry. The short explanation, though, is that it’s a great part of why I was kicked out of the Continuum.”

“Because… you saw me with my… animal guide?”

“Because I went to the very edges of the realms that even the Q are supposed to see. We’re not supposed to push our way into the spirit realms, which I did. And we’re not supposed to look into our _own_ futures, which I did... so, they kicked me out.”

“But you know your own future now?” she asked, deeply fascinated by the idea.

He shrugged. “I don’t have to tell you that the future’s not set in stone, but I did enough looking into different realities before I got caught that I think I can safely assume what some of the constants in my life will be.”

Her eyes lit up as she leaned forward, her cake forgotten. “Really? What do you know?” _Such certainty must be nice._

Quillen – who, in the end, must only ever exist to irritate her, _and that was only slightly dramatic_ – only shook his head. “I can’t tell you that. The council will take my telepathy where I sit if I tell anyone what the future holds.”

“Is it bad?”

He shrugged. “It’s not for us to know, is all, and when I found it out, the council decided that was the last straw. So, now, here I am with a spotty vision of a hypothetical future – one reality out of many possibilities – and no ability to do anything about it if I did try.”

“I think that sounds like something that would drive me crazy.”

“Sometimes,” he agreed.

“If it is bad in the future you saw,” Naomi began, trying to choose her words carefully. “Is keeping your telepathy really worth not trying to alter things that lead to the bad future?”

Quillen winced. “Yes and no. Did you know that Vulcans that are promised to each other in marriage form a telepathic bond in childhood to get to know one another better?”

Naomi nodded.

“Of course you do, Naomi the curious researcher. Anyway, over the past… oh, year and a half, I’ve developed a similar telepathic relationship with Icheb. Which is a really, really big deal for him, as I’m sure you can imagine, allowing thoughts that aren’t his own into his mind in a positive way.”

“Oh,” Naomi said, feeling that dull ache blossom in her sternum. “That makes sense, yes.”

“Besides, Quillen continued, becoming stubbornly optimistic. “I only saw one reality, one possibility, so what do I _really_ know of what’s coming?”

_So, maybe he didn’t have much certainty after all._

Before she could reply, Icheb came over, eyes narrowed as he asked suspiciously, “I thought I heard my name?”

Quillen beamed at him. “You did.”

Then he fell silent, still watching Icheb intently. Naomi saw it for the Quillen-typical showing off that it was as she realized they were using their telepathic bond right in front of her.

Icheb arched his eyebrows at something, nodding, then Quillen turned to her, asking, as they’d seen how she was watching them, “I know you _love_ it when I show off, but do you want to try?”

“’Try…’ a telepathic bond? With you?” she asked in surprise.

Quillen nodded, adding, “And Icheb, if you want.”

Naomi glanced at Icheb, asking, “Is that okay?”

“Yes. We wouldn’t offer if it wasn’t,” he assured her.

She looked to Quillen, asking, “What do I do, then?”

 _“Nothing.”_ The reply echoed back as Quillen’s voice _in her head_ , as he smirked in amusement at her.

“That’s _weird_!” she announced, not sure how she felt about it.

 _“Is it okay?”_ There was the second voice in her head, Icheb, his tone in her mind filled with concern. _“Do you want us to stop?”_

“No—” Naomi began to reassure him.

Then Quillen broke in, using his telepathy to instruct, _“Then try it.”_

So, Naomi looked at Icheb, attempting to think _to_ him. _“No, don’t stop. It’s fine. Just different.”_

She could feel their emotions in her mind, too, she realized in the next second as she _felt_ Icheb relax a little. Quillen, in contrast, was excited to share his ability. Icheb was happy for her to experience it too, but he was more cautious thanks to his past with the Borg.

“You’re hogging the birthday girl.” Naomi jumped when her mother spoke from just behind her chair. “Sorry,” Ensign Wildman laid a hand on Naomi’s shoulder. “I didn’t mean to startle you, but some of us brought presents for you.”

“Can you give us just one more minute?” Quillen requested.

Obligingly, Naomi promised her mom, “I’ll be over right after.”

“Okay.”

Ensign Wildman let them be, and Quillen asked, _“Do you want me to stop so you can rejoin your party?”_

_“Can you leave the connection for now?”_

_“For as long as you want,”_ he replied, and with that, they did as asked and made their way back into the crowd of partygoers.


	3. Chapter 3

Naomi lay in bed that night, staring up at the ceiling without seeing it as she lost herself in exploring the telepathic bond Quillen had made her a part of. Her curiosity was amusing to Quillen, but Icheb was studying her, observing her thoughts and emotions just as carefully and completely as she was him and Quillen. Except he was more familiar with the mindscape, having interacted with Quillen through it for the past year and a half, so she had to wonder if he was somehow learning more about her than she was him.

_ “No, not really.” _

Naomi smiled, alone in her room, as he heard her thoughts and answered her question.

_ “The bond only works in regard to the present,”  _ Quillen added. _“We ‘hear’ your present thoughts, feel your present emotions, but none of us can see the others’ memories.”_

_ “Why not?” _

_ “For one thing, the council took that part of my telepathy away, so it just isn’t possible anymore. For another, seeing the way memories work in a Q, going all over any number of timelines in a way that still remains linear… trying to keep it all straight would turn truly mortal brains – like yours and Icheb’s – into soup. Plus, personally, I can’t let you see that future I saw.” _

_ “And as for my past,”  _ Icheb pointed out. _“I very much doubt you would like to see my time spent as a Borg. It’s bad enough for Quillen when I have nightmares about my assimilation, and the emotions that come with that; no one would like to see my full span of memories.”_

Naomi felt a stab of sympathy for them as she frowned, only for Icheb to request, _“Don’t pity me, please. It’s all much better now, there’s just not a great way for me to control my dreams.”_

_ “No, of course not,”  _ Naomi replied. _“And I don’t pity you, you misinterpreted that emotion,”_ she felt the need to explain. _“I’m only sorry those things happen to you, to you both, in a way.”_

_ “Well, _ ” Icheb stopped in what he’d been about to tell her, and she could feel his thoughtfulness before he continued, _“Thank you, but I really do try to keep it in the past now.”_

_ “Of course,”  _ she agreed.

_ “And on that lovely note,”  _ Quillen broke in. _“I hate to be the grandma here, but we all three have drills with Tuvok tomorrow, and I would rather not be sleep-deprived for those.”_

_ “He’s right,”  _ Naomi agreed, but she felt their regret as an echo of her own.

_ “Do you want me to pull out, then,”  _ Quillen asked her. _“Or leave the bond where it is for now?”_

There was a sudden, light exclamation point of pain in Naomi’s consciousness – not her own pain – as she rolled her eyes at Quillen’s wording. _“What was that?”_ she asked instead of answering his question.

_ “I hit him,”  _ Icheb replied frankly. _“If only on the arm, lightly. He’s just a child about pain.”_

_ “I see,”  _ she replied, chuckling to herself. _“Thanks for that. Maybe against my better judgement, I wouldn’t mind if you left the bond for now, Quillen.”_ That was her own moment of dramatization; she was thoroughly enjoying the novelty of having them around in this way. 

_ “In that case, good night, Naomi,”  _ Quillen replied.

_ “Good night, Quillen. Good night, Icheb.” _

She wasn’t at all sure she was going to be able to go to sleep, but she felt Quillen and Icheb settling for the night, going through their nightly routines – they had been living together in Quillen’s quarters for a little over a year now – and she fell into a dreamless sleep sooner than she had expected she would.

* * *

The telepathic connection to Icheb and Quillen was gone when Naomi woke the next morning, and her first thought at that realization was panic. _Had something happened to them while she’d been sleeping? She’d asked Quillen to let the bond remain, so why had he broken it off?_

“Computer,” she commanded, bolting upright in her bed. “Locate Cadets Icheb and Quillen.”

“Cadets Icheb and Quillen are in their quarters.” _As they should’ve been._

“Computer, run a medical analysis on Cadet Quillen’s vitals.”

“Cadet Quillen is in optimum health,” the computer reported back after a moment. _Also as it should’ve been._

_ So, Quillen had broken the telepathic link just because he felt like it.  _ She felt an unreasonable stab of… something as she got out of bed. Somehow, she must not have realized she was in their way last night, in their space, invading their privacy. She would’ve preferred he or Icheb had just told her so, rather than leaving her to wake in a panic like he had.

She stewed as she got ready for the day and ate breakfast with her mother, who noticed her mood, but Naomi declined to explain it, as she wasn’t entirely sure why it bothered her so much in the first place. She left to join Commander Tuvok for training a full ten minutes earlier than she would’ve had to, thinking that maybe a walk around the deck would help her clear her head before her day got started properly.

Thankfully, she was feeling a little more levelheaded by the time she ran into Quillen and Icheb as they all walked together to where they would meet Commander Tuvok. 

Then Quillen asked her, “Would you happen to know why the computer performed a medical analysis on me this morning that _you_ requested?”

Naomi shot him a look that was purposefully full of the irritation that she now felt regarding how her morning had started. “Because I woke up, and the bond that was there last night wasn’t there this morning, so I was afraid something had happened to you two that made it break. I was obviously mistaken; you just broke it because… you wanted to, I guess.”

Quillen blinked at her, and there was confusion in his eyes as he began to explain carefully, “Naomi…” he sighed, glanced at Icheb, then looked back at her. “After you went to sleep last night, Icheb and I…we…”

“Had sex,” Icheb supplied where Quillen – in a very un-Quillen-like moment – was faltering.

That hurdle cleared, Quillen continued, “And you would’ve felt all of our emotions about that. Since you told me not to flirt with you last night, I assumed you wouldn’t _want_ to feel… any of those things from me, so I ended the bond, so you didn’t wake up and feel…” he faltered before shrugging helplessly. “I dunno, violated.”

_ So, it had been for an innocent reason, then, as the calmer side of her mind had eventually expected it would be.  _ “If I was in your way, or invading your privacy in any way last night, you could’ve just told me, and I would’ve been fine with you ending the bond before I went to sleep. You two are a couple, I respect that, and I would’ve understood.”

“You’re never going to be in our way,” Quillen said, something in his tone, some sort of desperation in his eyes, that she had no idea how to translate. “I did it for _your_ sake, so _you_ weren’t uncomfortable.”

“Well,” she swallowed, thinking through what he’d said, and trying to ignore the startling thought that she just might’ve been okay with the bond staying intact regardless. “In that case, thank you. For being considerate.”

Quillen nodded, and Icheb murmured, “Of course,” before Quillen asked – _almost hopefully,_ she thought – “Do you want me to bring you back into the bond?”

She considered it for a second, but no matter what he’d just said, Quillen and Icheb were a couple, and she wasn’t a part of that, and her presence in their minds would be in their way sooner or later. Naomi shook her head, then purposefully broadened her stride so she could begin to fall out of step with them. 


	4. Chapter 4

Three months passed while Quillen tiptoed around Naomi, unsure why she’d taken what he’d done the way that she had. She couldn’t even be much help to him to make him understand, as she wasn’t sure for herself why it was such a big deal to her, just that it was. They had become almost entirely unable to joke with one another, and because of that, they barely talked at all when it wasn’t necessary. Their relationship changed, and she didn’t like it. Judging by the wistful looks she occasionally caught him giving her, he didn’t like it any more than she did.

Even Icheb was slower to interact with her, and a little more guarded when he did, as if he, too, was afraid he would misstep and fall from her good graces.

Naomi hated it, all of it, but she had no idea how to work through how she felt so that she could discuss it with Quillen.

In a nearly embarrassing turn of events, Captain Janeway got involved before Naomi could figure it out for herself. The captain asked her to stay behind as Naomi moved to follow Seven and Lieutenant Torres out of the briefing room at the end of a briefing, so she stood uncertainly by her chair until the others had all left. Once they were alone, the captain sat on her couch and gestured for Naomi to join her. 

As Naomi did so, Captain Janeway announced flatly, “You’re making my son miserable.”

Naomi froze. “I’m sorry?”

“You do understand that Quillen is as much my son at this point as Icheb is Seven of Nine’s?”

“Yes, ma’am, I do.”

“You’re making him miserable,” Captain Janeway repeated. “And you’re miserable, and Icheb isn’t happy either, so something has to change. So, as much as I try to stay out of the personal lives of my crew, I really do, I’m making an exception for you and those boys. You all need to talk to someone about this, and Quillen told me I should start with you. What _happened_?” she asked in exasperation.

Naomi blinked at her captain, struggling to find words that were correct and honest, but also didn’t make her seem… less than professional. _There were no such words,_ she decided. “Captain, I would really rather no—”

“Don’t make me make this an order,” the captain requested, her gaze gentle as it swept over Naomi’s face now. “ _Let_ me be your friend right now.”

Naomi swallowed, then started at the beginning of the story, explaining what had occurred on her birthday, and then the next morning.

When she was finished, the captain kept staring thoughtfully out at the stars for so long that Naomi almost began to fidget. Then Captain Janeway turned back to her, saying thoughtfully, “Let me tell you what I just heard. There’s this young man that you have loved for years, but you found out he’s with someone else, so you told yourself he’s off-limits, and went on with your life like a civilized, independent person. Correct?”

“Yes…”

“But then, for one shining evening, you were inducted into their world, into the inner circle that young man shares with the one he loves, and then, when you woke the next morning, the person who… stole your love from you had booted you from that world just as quickly as he had let you in.”

“I’m sorry, captain, but isn’t that a bit dramatic?”

“But isn’t that what happened?” Captain Janeway’s gaze was impossibly empathetic as it remained unwavering upon Naomi. “Quillen kicked you out, even if it was for your own sake, so that he could be alone with _his_ boyfriend, just one more way you were reminded you didn’t _really_ fit into what they had, even though you saw where you _could_ fit. It was one more way to assert his… claim to a person that you can’t have, even though you love Icheb, and you probably feel you could love him better than Quillen, and you _definitely_ feel like you loved him first, so maybe that should count for something, too. Am I even partially correct in that assessment? And be honest.”

Naomi sorted through that in silence. She had definitely felt included in their world, even in some strange way included in their relationship, the night of the party. And it _had_ hurt the next morning to realize that Quillen had disconnected her from them, and why he’d done it _had_ been a sharp reminder of the way things really were. And she did love Icheb, and she _had_ loved him first… but she had never really considered the idea that she could love him _better_ than Quillen did, not when it was so clear that they adored each other. _Still, if the captain had been right on all counts but one…_

“Mostly,” she admitted with a shrug, looking down at her hands now.

“So, what this boils down to is that you’re angry with Quillen.”

“No,” she dared to object outright to her captain’s assessment.

Captain Janeway shot her a startled, then understanding, look even as a smirk tilted the edge of her mouth. “You don’t dislike Quillen – he has a big personality, and we both understand that, but you two have worked to become friends, and I see that, and I think it’s very mature of you – but you’ve struggled with his presence and his relationship with Icheb _since you found out about it._ Is that a correct statement?”

Naomi sighed, nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Okay,” Captain Janeway nodded thoughtfully before she said, “I’m going to tell you a story now. I’ll butcher it a little, I know, because it’s been so long since I first heard part of the story myself but bear with me.

“Once upon a time, there was a brave warrior, the leader of a nomadic tribe, who fell in love with the chief of a tribe that they came across in their wanderings. The tribes joined forces and began to wander together. They were stronger together, and their leaders well-suited to one another, and in time the female chief of the tribe began to… reciprocate the feelings the brave warrior had for her. But she… held back, afraid that their people would not respect them if they gave into what they wanted, if they _truly_ began to build a life together, and the warrior became tired of waiting for the chief to see the error in her thoughts. Like we talked about, he went on with his life like a civilized, independent person… and he found someone else who loved him – the medicine woman in the chief’s tribe – and he came to love her, and they told the chief that they were in love. After all, as their leader, they felt it was her right to know, and she did. The chief had known for a while that the medicine woman was in love with the warrior, but hadn’t expected it to hurt the way that it did, realizing that they had found their ‘happily ever after’ with one another, realizing that her friend, the medicine woman, really had entered into an arrangement that betrayed the chief in that way. An arrangement that seemed to the chief to have no place for her. Except, you see, the warrior and the medicine woman had this amazing ability with one another that the chief struggled with.” There was a thread of sarcasm in her voice as she said, “They were able to talk to one another about their feelings… and they learned that, small miracle, they were _both_ in love with the chief, even though they had each other. They went to the chief and told her so, shocking her… mostly because she had struggled so much with her own feelings towards them – the man she loved, but thought she couldn’t have, and the woman she’d only ever thought of as a friend. The warrior and medicine woman gave her time, though, and the chief thought and took a good look at herself and realized… she loved the medicine woman just as much as the warrior. She went back to them and told them, and then the _three_ of them lived ‘happily ever after.’”

Captain Janeway smiled at her, but Naomi faltered in the face of the _extraordinarily_ thinly veiled story. “Captain… I understand what you said, but… what’s the point of telling me that?”

The captain continued to watch her shrewdly as she pointed out, “You said you weren’t angry with Quillen. Alright, I’ll accept that. But now it looks to me like you need to figure out how you do feel about him.”

Naomi blinked, trying – and mostly succeeding – to not gape at Captain Janeway. “You think I’m in love with him?”

“I think that there’s a thin line between love and hate sometimes, and you need to figure out which side of that line you’re on.”

“What’s it matter?” Naomi said, not at all sure why that was the rebuttal she chose. “It’s like in your story: there’s a solid couple already formed, so what does it matter if a third person has any feelings at all, if there’s no place with the couple for that person?”

“What if there is a place for a third person?” Captain Janeway asked quietly.

Naomi froze. “What are you saying?”

“I am saying that you _need_ to figure out exactly how you feel about Quillen and Icheb, separately and together, and then you need to take that information, no matter what it may be, and go clear the air with the boys. Because you’re all three miserable, and everyone around you wants that to stop. Okay? _Try_ for me?”

Naomi stood, nodding hesitantly. “Yes, ma’am.”


	5. Chapter 5

It still took Naomi another three days to work up the courage to talk to Quillen about what she suspected was going to best help her sort out her feelings.

“Hey, guys,” Naomi said carefully as they left their cadet training for the day. She was suddenly, painfully aware of the fact that the distance between her and them was _at least_ mostly her fault as she asked hesitantly, “Can I talk to you for a second?”

Both Quillen and Icheb turned to look at her expectantly. “Depends on what you want to talk about,” Quillen replied, making a flippant joke that only stung Naomi.

“I know I have no right to ask,” she began, forcing herself to meet their half-wary gazes. “And I know it makes very little sense, if any, but I was hoping that you would re-include me in your telepathic link for a few minutes.”

Quillen’s wariness became even more obvious in his expression, but Icheb’s subsided a little, becoming curiosity as he asked, “Why?”

“Because I… thought I… noted something when you let me in last time, and I want to see if I’m right about it.”

“About something that was or is inside our minds?” Quillen asked, to which Naomi nodded.

“You know,” Icheb said gently, with a strange smile of amusement. “You could just _ask_ us about whatever you want to explore in our minds; there’s a high likelihood we _do_ know our own minds.”

“Yes,” she allowed. “But it sounds so stupid to just… _say_ it.”

“And here I thought we’d all learned how to talk to one another,” Quillen said, his relaxed tone not quite hiding the layer of uncertainty that was there too.

Icheb shot him an incredulous look, and Naomi caught a thought that she was afraid to understand passing between them.

“Can you re-include me in the bond or not?” she asked, growing a little impatient with the worry that the conversation might be slipping away from a place where it could help her reach her goal here.

“Can I?” Quillen said. “Yes.”

“Will he?” Icheb added. “No.” Seeing her growing disappointment, he ushered her into the turbolift with himself and Quillen. They endured a silent ride to where he and Quillen lived, and then he gestured her into their quarters with them, too. He and Quillen sat on their couch across from Naomi before he requested gently, “ _Talk_ to us? What _happened_ , and how do we fix it?”

“When you look at someone, you feel a certain way about them, right?” Naomi asked, very aware that the question probably made no sense.

“Yes,” Icheb agreed slowly.

“And when you’re telepathically in someone’s mind, can you feel those emotions they have whenever they look at you?”

“Yes,” Quillen agreed. “A little… in the background, but they’re there, if you happen to catch them.”

“So, with the three of us exploring what the bond looked like with all of us involved the night of the party, it’s very possible we all… caught on to those ‘background’ emotions, and how we feel about one another in general?”

Quillen nodded, wariness still clear in his face.

“I have two questions, then,” Naomi said, doing a bad job of relaxing back into her chair. She looked at Icheb, her cheeks beginning to burn at the mere thought of her long-held affection for him. “You saw—”

“—Something I’ve known for years?” he asked gently. “Yes, I saw. I don’t mind, though; I never have. I hope you know that. I found it… endearing when you were a child, and… adorable.” He smiled at her and looked to be debating saying something else but began to pick at his nails in silence instead. 

“’Adorable,’” Naomi muttered. “Great.”

“There are worse things than being adorable,” Icheb pointed out, looking at her from underneath his eyelashes as he kept his head bowed. “But… can I ask what your other question was?”

“My other question was for Quillen,” she said, turning to the Q now as she drew in a deep breath to try and calm her nervously fluttering heart. “If I can see your… baseline emotions in how you feel about me… why were they… fluctuating that night?”

Quillen shrugged. “Because my opinion of you was changing that night. You got to know us better by having that link; we got to know you better the same way, and it changed my mind about some things. We both saw that you… were more mature for your age than we ever thought to give you credit for. You’re not a child anymore, and you haven’t been for a while.”

“And the… feelings regarding me that had steadied and evened out by the end of the night? What were you planning on doing about those?” she asked carefully.

He shrugged again, with Icheb looking between the two of them with a calm worry that only he could achieve. “I wasn’t planning on _doing_ anything about it,” Quillen said. “You think I’m a hapless flirt who falls in and out of love easily, and you had told me to… leave you alone in that way, so I was fully planning on respecting your wishes.”

“Because suffering in silence isn’t painful in its own way?” Naomi asked.

“I wouldn’t know; I haven’t been in this position before.”

“Well, I don’t recommend it. It’s painful.”

“Noted,” Icheb said quietly, and Naomi froze for a second, having nearly forgotten he was there as she’d turned her attention to Quillen. “But also, for the record, you’re wrong about Quillen.”

“In what way?” she asked as Quillen raised his eyebrows at Icheb.

“If you think he’s a ‘hapless flirt who falls in and out of love easily,’ you’re wrong. He’s a flirt, yes, but he’s endlessly loyal. We’ve been together for years, and I can honestly say that we’ve never been unfaithful to one another… even though we both appreciate more than the _male_ humanoid figure. Do you understand?”

“You’re bisexuals, if you’re looking for a label,” Naomi said, dredging up the old-fashioned label that he probably didn’t even have real context for.

“I wasn’t,” he said factually, “And that’s not what you were meant to take from the statement; you’re smart enough to understand that.”

“What do you want me to take from it, then, Icheb?” she asked, old hurts fraying at the edges of her nerves and tone.

Icheb blinked at her for a moment before he turned to Quillen and asked, “Would you mind reinstating the bond with her, please? I know I wanted to try to do this without it, but…” 

Another thought flashed from Icheb to Quillen, blocking her out of their conversation for a moment before Quillen asked her, “Is it still okay if I add you to the bond again?”

Naomi nodded readily, and just as quickly there they were in the back of her mind. 

“Here’s what we have established,” Icheb said factually. “Quillen loves you, and for some reason both of you love me. Now:” he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Can you tell the difference between Quillen and I in your mind?”

Naomi closed her eyes, all the better to focus inward, and nodded. “Quillen feels… red. You’re a little steadier, a little warier. Like… brown.”

“Okay.” There was a smile in his voice as he asked, “In Quillen, if he’s thinking about you, can you find that baseline emotion we were talking about?”

Naomi nodded after a moment of searching, forgetting that Icheb couldn’t see the gesture. “It’s… love… soft and light pink. Uncertain love, because it’s new.”

“And if I’m thinking about you, can you find my emotions in your mind?”

This took a little longer, frightened her a little more. Her voice came out on a timid breath as she said, “Yes.”

“And what are they?” he prompted, but still she hesitated.

“Naomi?” Quillen said softly, from right beside her. She was startled as he slid his hand into hers, giving it a careful squeeze as he asked, “What are you afraid of? A life that’s too close to what you dream of, way deep down? A world where we both get the guy of our dreams? What’s so bad about that?”

She opened her eyes, looked down at Quillen as he crouched in front of her. “ _You would be okay with that?_ ” she asked him. “ _With sharing the man you love?_ ”

“ _As long as you’re okay with it too._ ”

They both turned to look back at Icheb, letting the question be phrased without words. “I want you both to be happy,” Icheb answered aloud. “And if somehow, for some reason, you both think I can give you that… then I’m willing to attempt to be that for both of you.” He looked at Quillen, continuing, “You and I both know what that looks like for you and me. I don’t anticipate any of that changing for now.” He met Naomi’s gaze as he said, “With you… you can tell that Quillen wasn’t the only one whose emotions towards you changed the night of your party, but my love for you is ‘uncertain’ and ‘new’ too. Have patience with me? Because I don’t know what to make of this yet, but I want to… try loving you, too, if that isn’t selfish of me. I want to figure out what to make of this, and I want to make it perfect. Is that acceptable to you both as well?”

Quillen and Naomi both nodded, with Quillen reaching out to take Icheb’s hand in his free one, a simple way to close the distance between them, to connect the three. But there was a hesitance in the back of Icheb’s mind, an understanding that Quillen was going to be hurt if something didn’t change. _Icheb didn’t think this would work unless Naomi and Quillen were both equally as invested in each other as they wanted to be in him. And the fact that they weren’t taking_ that _jump right now as well was Naomi’s fault._

“ _Hey_ ,” Quillen said, a presence in her mind that Naomi had, in her distraction with what was happening, momentarily forgotten could read her thoughts. “ _I’ll be okay, guys. One thing at a time, alright?_ ”

Before she could quite process her own thoughts, Naomi asked Quillen, “You would be open to a triad if I was?”

He froze, but nodded a second later, and she saw how much admitting that pained him when he thought there was no chance of reciprocation. She smiled, grateful and gentle, at him, squeezing his hand. “Thank you for telling me.” Then she asked, “Do you think you could give me a day to think about it, and we could meet back here tomorrow night to discuss things again?”

Both Icheb and Quillen shot her confused looks. “May I ask why?” Icheb hazarded.

“Because we have _really_ good advisors on this ship, and if you don’t mind, I’d like to utilize some of them,” she said honestly.

“Okay,” Quillen agreed, giving Icheb a look that made it clear he was speaking for them both.

“I…” Naomi scoffed at her own indecision before asking Quillen, “I’m sorry to be so fickle after I keep making such a big deal about it, but do you think you could take me out of the telepathic link until we meet tomorrow night?”

Quillen nodded, and that quickly, their presences in the back of her mind were gone.”

“Thank you,” she murmured, grateful for their flexibility in the face of her own indecision. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow,” Quillen parroted as she walked out.


	6. Chapter 6

“I know you haven’t wanted to talk about it,” Ensign Wildman said from across the dinner table, watching Naomi stab her replicated carrots. “But something’s different tonight. Something’s changed today, and you’re worse – you’re even _quieter_ – and I think it’s time you talk about it whether or not you want to, sweetheart.”

Naomi set down her fork, letting out a deep sigh as she admitted, “I think you’re right.”

Ensign Wildman, who had clearly been bracing for pushback, raised her eyebrows in surprise and answered only, “Good. So, what’s wrong? I’ve gathered that there’s something going on with you, Icheb, and Quillen. Something’s been going on since your birthday party. Is that this?”

Naomi nodded, not sure where to start, or how to explain. As a rule, she didn’t discuss romance of any sort with her mother, her own faulty way of trying to alleviate her mother’s pain over the absence of Naomi’s father. Yet… right now, she just wanted to talk to her mom.

Still, she was shocked when she began to cry – one more thing that she didn’t do half as much as she once had, and she certainly hadn’t cried over a boy since she was around seven years old.

“Oh, honey…” Ensign Wildman stood from the table, moving to stand behind Naomi’s chair, wrapping her arms around Naomi’s shoulders. “Talk to me. Tell me how I can help.”

“You can’t,” Naomi admitted between her tears. “This one’s on me.”

“What is?”

Still not sure where to start, Naomi decided the very beginning was better than nowhere at all. “Everyone knows I have… feelings for Icheb, right?”

Ensign Wildman paused, debating, before she agreed delicately, “Almost everyone, I guess.”

“But he’s with Quillen, and I thought that was the end of it, but then there was the party, and—” and in her mother’s embrace it all spilled out. The party, the telepathy, their following lack of communication, her talk with the captain, and her conversation with Quillen and Icheb.

At some point, Ensign Wildman had pulled her own chair closer to Naomi’s, still listening as they sat with their knees practically touching. “So…” she summarized as Naomi wiped her eyes, pulling herself firmly back together at the end of her story, “The only hang-up is that you don’t know how you feel about Quillen?”

Naomi nodded miserably.

“Why didn’t you just ask them what they saw of your emotions in their minds?” Ensign Wildman asked hypothetically.

Naomi snorted at the obvious solution. “I was so distracted by what _was_ being said that it never occurred to me, and I doubt they would’ve told me, anyway.”

“Because that would’ve been some sort of copout?”

“Something like that.”

“Well, what do _you_ think they saw?”

“What?”

“When they looked into your mind,” Ensign Wildman continued practically. “What do you think they felt in your emotions? You said that their emotions manifested in your mind as colors, right?”

“Right.”

“Okay. So, close your eyes and picture your own mind, your own emotions – and _don’t overthink it_. Now, instinctively, what color do you picture in your own mindscape when you think of Icheb?”

Naomi took a deep breath, obligingly closing her eyes and doing her best to picture the flashes of color and surges of emotions that would reflect her own mind in someone else’s telepathy. “Dark pink; it’s love, a little steadier than a crush, but still new and exciting and unexplored.”

“Okay. And what color do you picture when you think of Quillen?” Naomi’s expression twitched as she hesitated, until her mother ordered in her stern, I’m-in-charge-of-this-department voice, “Tell me now!”

It was a tone that had _nothing_ on a frustrated Lieutenant Torres, but it did the trick on her daughter nonetheless, and Naomi blurted, “Pink!”

“Explain,” Ensign Wildman coaxed calmly, the urgency her voice had held a moment ago long gone.

“Pale pink. New and unexpected and untouched for now.” She opened her eyes, staring at her mother as she murmured, “But still love.”

Ensign Wildman sat back in her chair, repeating with a small smile, “’But still love.’ We don’t talk about romantic love, you and I – I haven’t pushed the subject ever, but don’t think I haven’t noticed that you don’t bring it up, either – but I think that you’re a loving person by nature anyway. It’s where your compassion comes from, and I’d like to think that you get that from me. My point being… it’s not like you to push away love when it’s being offered. Quillen loves you, and you love him – you just said so, so don’t go getting that look in your eyes – and no matter what we have or haven’t discussed, I know that…” she looked away for a moment, her eyebrows knitting over her turbulent gaze. “You’ve seen enough of my hard days without your father to realize that love that can be celebrated and lived out in the open despite whatever the odds are against it… that’s precious, and it’s not something to be… shoved aside just because you’re afraid, or because you have assumptions that you’re starting to realize are wrong. You love him, and he loves you, and Icheb loves you both, and you both love Icheb, and,” Ensign Wildman chuckled, reaching for Naomi’s hand across the table. “And somewhere in there, that starts to sound a little complicated, but the truth is that it doesn’t have to be. If you love someone well, and they love you well in return, then you deserve to find a way to live that out; it _is_ that simple.”

“You really believe that?”

Ensign Wildman’s smile flickered with sadness before she bolstered it with the bravery that had made her seem _almost_ untouchable throughout Naomi’s childhood. “If I didn’t, I never would’ve married your father, and you certainly wouldn’t be here, listening to the spiel that you are now.”

Naomi released a breath, saying, “Thanks, Mom.”

Ensign Wildman stood, gathering their dishes to take to the recycler before she kissed Naomi’s hair. “Anytime, sweetheart. It’s what I’m here for.”


	7. Chapter 7

Naomi’s cheek stung as she leaned away from Commander Chakotay’s blade too little too late, and it sliced shallowly into her face. She licked the bloody corner of her lip where the cut stopped, jabbed with her spear too hard and too off-balance at the air near the commander’s shoulder, the force of her own clumsy – _stupid, stupid_ – movement nearly enough to put her face-forward on the mat had it not been for his steadying hand catching her under her elbow. 

“You are very unfocused today, cadet,” the commander announced what she already knew. He leaned back against the edge of the stretchy holographic boxing ring where they’d been having their weekly sparring session, looking for all the world relaxed enough to belong there as he waited for her explanation.

“Sorry,” she said, reaching up to touch her face and the cut that would be gone as soon as they walked off the holodeck. “I… had a couple rough conversations yesterday, and I didn’t sleep well.”

He considered her for a moment, and she was surprised to realize she’d expected his response when he said, “Yeah? Quillen told me some of your conversation from yesterday. He said you’d asked for twenty-four hours to sort some things out?” She nodded, and he asked, “You wanna talk about it?”

Naomi surprised herself when she said, “That depends on who’s asking.”

Surprise slashed across his expression. “I’m sorry?”

“Are you asking as my commander and counselor, or as Quillen and Icheb’s father figure?”

He narrowed his eyes at her, but a smile still played traitorously at the edges of his mouth. “It may surprise you to know, Cadet Wildman, that I endeavor to treat all three of you equally; as you know, none of you have fathers aboard, and I try to take that into account. Equally. So, I guess the question is, who do you want to talk to?”

“I need counsel.” Now it was her turn to announce something that she suspected was obvious.

“That’s fair. How can I help?”

“To be honest, I’m getting a little tired of rehashing all of this. You said Quillen explained it to you?”

“He explained the events from his point of view, yes.”

That was his way of saying he wanted to hear her side of the story now, but she ignored that for the time being to say, “Then here’s my hang-up. He’s an idiot, right? Quillen, I mean. He’s smart as a whip, and he’s seen half of literally everything, but he’s flighty and irreverent and a flirt and being smart is not the same as having common sense, and he’s only smart, he doesn’t have common sense, and—” she clamped her mouth shut, seeing Commander Chakotay’s eyebrows slowly starting to rise at her onslaught, then she finished levelly, “And how am I supposed to trust myself – my… heart – to someone like that?”

He considered her in silence for a second with amusement in his eyes who’s source she couldn’t pinpoint. “Flighty, irreverent, and a flirt,” he parroted her words back to her. “You’re right about him being smart… and not far off on his lack of common sense, but he knows that’s a problem for him, and he’s trying to work on it. But otherwise you’re wrong about him.”

“So I keep hearing,” she allowed, letting her frustration show.

“From who?”

“Icheb, but he’s just got rose-tinted glasses on, as the saying goes, right?”

Commander Chakotay drew in a slow breath. “Maybe in some things, but not all of them. He knows Quillen better than anyone else aboard.”

“So, if Quillen isn’t the things that I said he was, what is he? Who is he?”

“He’s not flighty,” the commander began to dismantle her statement piece by piece. “He’s energetic, and that can make him _look_ flighty if you’re not paying attention. He’s really _very_ stubborn and loyal, and once you have his loyalty, he would give you the shirt off his back in a snowstorm to keep you warm. You’ve seen that sort of behavior with him and Icheb.”

“And the captain,” Naomi agreed, almost under her breath.

“And the captain,” he repeated, having heard her anyway. “As for ‘irreverent?’ Absolutely we had issues with him when he was only coming for visits on the ship, and those issues were present when he first joined the crew, but he’s gotten better there, too. And I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, but he doesn’t actually flirt, not seriously; it’s a game to him – not my style of game, but still lighthearted and harmless. If he finds people aboard willing to play that game with him, he continues it as he passes people in the hall, just to make them smile occasionally. If, like you, you don’t appreciate his game, he won’t talk to you like that. He’s gotten much better about respecting people’s boundaries, in case you hadn’t noticed.”

“I hadn’t noticed, no,” Naomi admitted quietly.

“Personally, I think that’s been the problem between the three of you, the disconnect these past few months, if not well before when it comes to your friendships. Your opinions of each other haven’t grown and changed as you’ve all grown as people.

Seeing her confused expression, he explained, “Until the party, until he saw into your mind and saw irrefutable proof of your maturity, Icheb was determined to see you as a child, as he always had. The telepathy jolted him into awareness of your adulthood, and he saw you in a new light that… intrigued him. 

“Quillen saw that you were growing up, saw something that intrigued _him_ , but you shut him down before he could try to present that idea to you because you were determined to always see him as the troublemaker he came to us as. 

“And Icheb…” he narrowed his gaze shrewdly upon her now, and Naomi almost squirmed under it as he said, “I think you’ve always seen Icheb as almost entirely… unattainable, for various, entirely fair reasons, but now the impossible is being offered to you, and _I think_ that you want so badly to take it that you’re afraid to take it, because after all this time it must be too good to be true. Am I right at all?”

“Partially,” Naomi admitted shortly. “If I do want to take them up on their offer, you’re right about it seeming too good to be true.” She paused a second, debating the wisdom of questioning him so forthrightly, before she met his gaze again and asked, “But you’re sure about Quillen?”

He laughed on a breath, running a hand through his sweaty hair as he informed her, “If you keep harping on that, I’m going to send you to Tom and B’Elanna, and one of them – and I’m not sure which, to be honest – is going to be far more blunt with you than I’m being. 

“Suffice to say, you are not the first person who has discussed these sort of insecurities with me, my dear mixed-blooded engineer, and if I can’t talk you down like I did her, then I’m quite sure they together can talk you ‘round instead.

“In answer to your question, though, I am very sure about Quillen, and I wouldn’t be telling you the things I am if I weren’t. If you choose to try this with them, you won’t regret it, but if you opt not to, I will respect your decision and stay out of your personal life until you come to me about it again. Does that sound fair?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Does what I said offer you any clarity at all?”

Naomi considered that for a moment, and Commander Chakotay let her take the time to do so as he picked up his spear and got a drink. _He was right about the three of them not giving each other the room to grow…_ and now that she saw that, she saw that she could very easily appreciate the men Quillen and Icheb were becoming. “Yes, sir,” she repeated, following him out of the holodeck.

He shot her a nearly mischievous look as she caught up enough to walk beside him. “Do I need to inform Tom and/or B’Elanna that you’re on your way to talk to them?”

There was a split second where she genuinely considered going down to engineering and getting Lieutenant Torres’ opinion. _But why would she do that? Her mother and Commander Chakotay were right. She wanted this, she was only letting fear of the unknown rule her head right now, and the only reason she wanted to go down to engineering was to talk to someone who might be able to justify her fear._ “No, thank you, sir. I’ve… made up my mind.” As they parted ways, she added, “Thank you for your help.”

“Any time, cadet. It’s what I’m here for.”

With her back turned to him as she walked, Naomi didn’t see the amused shake of his head that Commander Chakotay sent her way, and she wouldn’t have known what to make of it if she had.


	8. Chapter 8

“You okay?” Ensign Kim asked, giving her a strange look as they worked together to replace a plasma pack later in the day.

She began to affix the pack into place, asking lightly, “Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because you’re putting the fried pack in place instead of the new one.”

Naomi jumped, looking down at the blackened pack that she was, indeed, putting back into the space she’d just removed it from. “Sorry, I… guess my mind was elsewhere.”

“I’d guess so.” Ensign Kim took the old pack from her, handing her the new one. “Can I ask where?”

“I have a… meeting later today with Icheb and Quillen, and I guess I was running through how I want to say… what I want to say.”

“Oh, how mysterious,” he teased lightly before growing more serious as he pointed out, “If it’s making you this distracted, maybe you should rip the bandage off and have your meeting earlier than planned.”

“But the meeting is supposed to be this evening. We’re all doing ‘field training’ today, you know. I’m with you, the other two are on the bridge, as Icheb is with Seven, and Quillen is with Lieutenant Paris, so we’re busy until this evening.”

Ensign Kim gave her a look that she took to mean he saw right through what was supposed to be a perfectly acceptable reason to keep her meeting time as was. “What are you discussing at this meeting, if I can ask?”

“We just need to get some things figured out between the three of us, that’s all.”

“Agreed. All the senior officers agree, actually, so give me a second.” He tapped his comm badge, saying, “Ensign Kim to Lieutenant Paris and Seven of Nine.”

“Yes, ensign?” Seven asked. 

“Paris here,” Lieutenant Paris replied.

“Can you spare your cadets for… oh, an hour?”

“Immediately?” Seven asked.

Ensign Kim replied, “Yeah, but it sounds important to me.”

“If it’s that important to you, where do you want them?” Lieutenant Paris asked.

That gave Ensign Kim pause before he asked, “Where is one place no one would interrupt them?”

“What?” Lieutenant Paris asked, surprised by the strange question.

“Quillen and Icheb’s quarters might be sufficient if this is something meant to be kept private,” Seven supplied, beginning to catch on to what was happening where Lieutenant Paris was floundering.

“Naomi will meet you boys there, then,” Ensign Kim announced over the comm, giving Naomi a look that meant she was dismissed.

“You can’t do that!” Naomi objected as soon as the comm call ended. “We all have plans for today, and—and you can’t just… railroad our lives like that.”

“I’m your superior officer, and your teacher today, and I can change your plans so far as your training goes if I want to,” he informed her, gentle empathy still clear in his tone. “Now, Icheb and Quillen are headed to their quarters to meet with you, and it’s not like you to be late. So, go. Go, and chicken out and say nothing in the end if this is what I think it is, go and just hang out with your friends if you really want to. Or: go, and tell the truth, and trample on your fears, and set things right with them, and see how wonderful that can be. Either way,” he gave her a gentle shove in the direction of the turbolift. “Go, before you’re driven so far to distraction that you fumble your way into a plasma burn. You’re dismissed for the next hour.”

Swallowing a sigh, Naomi started in the direction she was being pointed. Turning back long enough to shoot the ensign a nervous smile, she said, “Thanks.”

“No, problem. Now, _go_.”

* * *

Quillen and Icheb were waiting for Naomi in their quarters when she arrived, and they looked even more nervous than she did, if that were possible. They did have less information than she did about what was going on, after all.

As if to prove her thoughts, Quillen jerked to his feet, asking, “What’s the matter? What’s going on?”

“Nothing’s the matter,” Naomi said, hoping her tone was soothing instead of leaking out the nervousness that she felt. “Ensign Kim just felt that we… that I needed to get this out of the way, in his words, before I gave myself plasma burns.”

“So, we’re talking about… us now, instead of later,” Icheb summarized.

Naomi nodded.

“Okay, then,” he said as Quillen gestured her into a seat while taking his own again. Seeing her nerves, Icheb bit the proverbial bullet first, asking, “Should I start?”

“Yes, please,” Quillen requested.

“Well, Quillen,” Icheb smiled lightly at his boyfriend. “I love you, and I want to be with you, and you know that.” His smile faltered, but he kept it in place as he turned hopefully to Naomi. “Naomi, all of that holds true for you, too. I know it’s probably a shock, my saying such a thing after all these years, but, for one thing, you’re just now grown enough for our being together to be practical. For another thing, after seeing into your mind at your birthday party, I believe I may have been misjudging you for the past few years, not… giving credit where it’s due, in a way, and I would like a chance to rectify that and get to know you better. If you would agree to such an arrangement?”

“But you know all of that anyway,” Quillen pointed out when Naomi paused, genuinely surprised by Icheb’s… rather sweet, for him, declaration. “You know our minds, and how we feel about you, and what we would like going forward. The point of this conversation was for you to tell us what you want to do about that knowledge.” He shrugged, trying and miserably failing to keep his usual confident air in place as he asked, “Do you wanna give us a shot or not?”

They were both watching her very intently now, and it was almost unnerving, but she straightened, looking just as steadily at them. “I would like to, yes,” she admitted, halfway surprising herself with the truth of it when she added, “More than anything, actually. But what if something goes wrong, and I don’t fit, and we don’t work, and we break up? I would _hate_ myself if I did something to damage the relationship you two have.”

“Our relationship is our relationship,” Icheb said, as if it was perfectly logical. “We are responsible for what happens between the two of us; you are not, nor will you be.”

She didn’t even try to hide the anxiety the idea brought her as she asked, “And if we break up, are we still supposed to go to cadet training together, still be friends, and pretend that everything’s fine and nothing ever happened?”

“Naomi,” Quillen was wearing the kindest smile she’d ever seen on his face as he knelt in front of her and took her hand like he had yesterday. “That’s just not going to happen. Icheb and I are both due to graduate from cadet training soon, so you’ll be doing that by yourself either way.”

She snorted softly at his joking avoidance of what they both knew she really meant. “I’m being serious,” she complained quietly.

“I know,” he replied, still watching her kindly. “So am I. That’s not going to happen. You and I both know that once I stick myself to you, you’re _really_ stuck with me, come hell or high water, right, Itchy? And Itchy just tends to go wherever I go so he can keep me out of trouble.”

“He’s right,” Icheb agreed. “So, what do you say, give us a chance?”

There had been a layer of seriousness underneath Quillen’s flippant words, and this time Naomi heard it loud and clear. She even trusted it. So, she nodded, letting herself smile at the idea as she agreed, “Yes, please.”

“Beautiful,” Quillen said, smiling broadly. He rocked forward on the balls of his feet, reaching up with his free hand to brush her bangs out of her eyes as he asked, “Does that mean you want the telepathic link back?”

“Yes, please,” she repeated her earlier statement, her breath lodged in her chest so that she wasn’t sure she could find new words.


	9. Chapter 9

Just like that, Naomi could feel their emotions, and she was blown away at the sudden influx of joy and adoration from them both. Because of her. _For_ her. Tears pricked at her eyes in the face of it all.

Icheb blinked, confused at her shock, and Quillen’s voice in her mind was soothing as he murmured, “ _Hey, stop that. You’re worth it,_ ” as he stood, gently tugging her out of her chair so that they could join Icheb on the couch.

It was a tight fit, but she wasn’t sure she minded as Icheb took her other hand, and she looked instinctively towards him. “ _May I kiss you?_ ”

After months of very little communication with them, this was all happening so dizzyingly fast, but for someone who planned their weeks and days down to the half-hours, Naomi wasn’t sure she cared. She nodded, already leaning closer to him with an unwavering “ _Yes_.”

* * *

The next morning, Naomi had a briefing with the senior officers, and after some discussion with Icheb and Quillen, they had decided that would be the best time to tell their superiors the decision they had come to. After all, most of the senior officers had gotten themselves involved enough in the situation that it only seemed fair.

It was still a little nerve-wracking for Naomi to speak up, though, when the captain asked towards the end of the briefing if there was any other business to attend to. “Actually, yes. Just a small thing, of a personal nature that I – we – think you all ought to be made aware of.”

Captain Janeway looked to be repressing a smile as she said, “Ah, yes, _that_. Give me just a moment.” She tapped her comm badge. “Icheb, Quillen, Ensign Wildman?”

“We’re here, captain,” Ensign Wildman replied.

“Come on in, then.”

The door to the briefing room slid open to reveal Ensign Wildman, Icheb, and Quillen, and Naomi asked the boys silently, “ _What are you doing here?_ ”

Icheb’s eyebrow twitched even while he did his best to keep his expression neutral to keep from showing their use of telepathy. “ _Did you think we were going to let you face this alone?_ ”

“ _That’s not how this works, Wildman,_ ” Quillen pointed out, and his use of her surname – equating her with the fact that it was her _mother_ , not Naomi, who was without her other half – wasn’t lost on her.

“ _Thank you_ ,” she replied.

“ _We wouldn’t want to be anywhere else when you’re this nervous,_ ” Icheb replied.

Naomi stood, giving her seat to her mother, and the boys came to stand beside her as Lieutenant Paris laced his hands together on the tabletop and asked while the smile at the edges of his mouth meant he already suspected the answer, “What _did_ you talk about yesterday?”

Naomi gestured to her boyfriends, one on either side of her, and answered shortly, “Us.”

“And what conclusion did you come to?” Captain Janeway asked, watching the three of them like she was hoping to deduce the answer before they confirmed it.

“We won,” Quillen replied, beaming at his “Aunt Kathy” while he gestured to Icheb.

“Won what?” Lieutenant Paris asked with an arched eyebrow. “A prize? I didn’t realize there was a competition going on.”

It was a gentle rebuttal and a call to be careful all in one, and Naomi grinned, both at the lieutenant and at the look on Quillen’s face.

“Well, I, for one, am glad it’s settled,” the captain announced.

It was Ensign Kim who asked, “And everyone is happy with the decision you came to?”

“Yes,” Quillen answered, and Naomi got the feeling the query had been mostly directed at him, and he knew it, even though Ensign Kim had, by appearances, included them all in the question.

At her spike of curiosity, Quillen pointed out, “ _You’re not the only one who can talk to advisors around here._ ”

“ _Noted_ ,” Naomi allowed.

“Then we’re all very happy for you,” Lieutenant Torres said. “Really. But, as I’m sure we all realize after this briefing, we have a lot of work to do. And you,” she pointed at Naomi as she stood, effectively rescuing them from further questioning. “Are needed in engineering this morning.”

“She’s right,” the captain agreed. “If that’s all, cadets?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Icheb replied.

“Then you’re all dismissed.”

Captain Janeway moved to take Naomi’s PADD of notes from her, but the redhead didn’t miss the way her captain squeezed Quillen’s shoulder happily as he passed her while leaving – her maternal version of a congratulations, Naomi knew when she saw it.

Ensign Wildman waited until they were almost to the point of parting ways – Icheb and herself heading for the science sections while Naomi went with Seven and Lieutenant Torres – before she wrapped her daughter in a quick hug, whispering, “I’m so happy you’re happy.”

“Thanks, Mom.” Naomi smiled a little lopsidedly at her, in no way missing the sadness that flashed through her mother’s eyes.

Without her father here, the big steps in Naomi’s life were often tinted with that flash of sadness, of missing someone that wasn’t here and wishing for something that couldn’t be helped. It was what it was, and the Wildman women had learned years ago to face it as a unit and climb those hurdles as they came. Still, Naomi felt the familiar twinge of pain, but kept smiling through it.

“ _Naomi?_ ” Icheb asked.

“ _I’m okay._ ”

She gave both him and her mother a steady smile as they parted ways, and though Icheb’s worry for her remained – Quillen’s prickled in the back of her mind, too, less obvious because he was already gone from in front of her – he did his best to believe her as he asked, “ _Would you two like to have lunch in the mess hall with me later?_ ”

“ _I’ll be there,_ ” Quillen promised.

Naomi smiled at the simple domesticity of it, the feeling of falling so perfectly and easily into step with one another that she almost couldn’t believe it. “ _I’d love to_.”


End file.
